


Smells Like Home

by ciely



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, highschoolers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 08:00:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3320006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciely/pseuds/ciely
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren realizes his love for Levi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smells Like Home

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry about any mistakes. Please enjoy.

I realized I was in love with my best friend on a cloudy day. It wasn’t special or anything like that except for the fact that I had this thought in my head, it wouldn’t leave and it just stood there waiting until it came out.

“Levi.” I said his name and it tugged at my heart, Rain began to fall and thunder rolled across my view. From that day onward I couldn’t explain the sadness, the constant tug of war my heart felt. 

“Hey, Eren,” Levi said as we sat in the library his tone contemplative. 

“What, Levi?” I asked staring at his eyes, something in them made me yearn for the affection they showed but another part of me wished I didn’t see the way he looked at the girl who was searching for books at the bookshelf.

“She’s a looker ain’t she?” Levi grinned, his grey eyes twinkling. 

Words got stuck in my throat, ‘look at me,’ they knotted themselves. He stood up before I could respond and walked in her direction.   
As I watched them flirt I realized that I wished I could be her. This realization pulled tears out of my eyes, I ran before anyone would notice.  
I stared at the ceiling in my room, my older sister Mikasa walked in. When my mom died when I was five, Mikasa became more of a mom to me than a sister. She was a freshmen in college when she had to learn to raise a child.

“What's wrong Eren?” She settled at the edge of my bed, I refused to look at her. ‘I really love him.’ Is what I wish I could have told her, I wish I could have told her and I wished she could have consoled me and told me everything would be fine, like those times I would wake from nightmares.

When I wouldn’t respond, she waited for a while. “When you want to tell me I’ll be in my room.” She walked out and turned off the lights, the moon shined through my window covering me in a blue hue. 

“I really love him.” I gasped into my pillow between tears, the moon my only company. Why do I feel so bad? Why does loving him make me feel so bad? I feel asleep a mess of tears and mucus.

“Hey Eren,” I was snapped out of my dreariness by Armin, my other best friend. Levi was a year older than me and a childhood friend. Armin was my age and a school friend, the best I ever had. 

“Why are you so down?” Armin wondered. 

“Nothin’ much, I just feel a little under the weather.” I said tucking my head between my arms; I shouldn’t have come to school. ‘God, please don’t cry.’ I pleaded with myself. 

“Alright,” Armin let it go; he knew when to stop prodding.

At lunch I met with Levi in an empty classroom. He didn’t like hanging out around all the noise. If he noticed how sad I was he didn’t bring it up. He never was one for sentiment. The last time I cried in front of him is when me and Mikasa got into an argument. It was stupid really, but some nasty things were said. I told her that she wasn’t my mom and the regular movie cliché. She just clammed up, hurt is all I can say, and she walked away. She was mature like that, I could feel the sisterly want to hit me coming from her, but her sisterly side disappeared when she learnt she couldn’t have kids of her own. 

I felt so bad afterwards, I came crying to Levi. His mother really wasn’t around, neither was his father. When he opened the door he didn’t say anything, he let me walk into his arms and cry. He even called Mikasa and told her not to worry.

“So I went on a date with the girl from the library,” Levi spoke trying to lighten my mood I guess, “She was alright but she wasn’t y…”

“I love you.” I cut him off, my voice faint, he stopped speaking. You know the silence before a storm, when you can feel the ozone about to strike like those spark rocks, that is what it was before I couldn’t stop myself.

“I love you, you son of a bitch. I don’t know when I started loving you but I do, and every time you talk or flirt with girls, it hurts. Levi, it really hurts. I just wish that you could love me too, you know, I wish you could love me too.” My voice faded, I couldn’t believe what I just practically yelled at him. He stood there his beautiful face blank. You know those few second after the lighting strike, before you hear the thunder. Well, I couldn’t take it, I left before I could hear the thunder. I thought I stopped being afraid of thunder after I had to learn how to stop crying because it wasn’t manly. I ditched school.

I ran into the apartment, Mikasa looked up from her paperwork. I ran into my room shutting the door before my cries escaped my lungs. I cried and cried, it went from gasps into whimpers. I heard Mikasa knock on my door.

“Eren, are you okay?” I didn’t respond. I heard footsteps walk away. 

After I tuckered myself out I flip myself to stare at my ceiling. ‘God, when did I get so girly?’ Here I am crying over some fruitless love, over a boy I love nonetheless. I chuckle, ‘God I’m sad.’ I almost started blubbering again.

Another knock at my door, this time however the door creaked open. 

“Eren.” a voice of smooth liqueur, or like a nice smooth yogurt crossed the wind. 

“Levi.” My voice cracked, a whimper escaped my lips. I looked at him, and took a shaky breath. He ran at me a engulfed me in his arms. 

“You stupid brat, telling me all those things and running away.” He spoke aggressively, but not the aggressive you would run away from. He pulled me closer to him, I felt his weight bend the mattress. “You selfish brat.” His voice got a different hue, it took me sometime to figure out he was crying too. 

I’ve only seen Levi cry once, his dad went home and beat him pretty roughly. But it wasn’t him he was crying for, nor was it his mother who had suffered some of his father’s ministration occasionally. No, he really didn’t care about his mother, who didn’t give a damn about him, only her bottle.

On this occasion I had been with him studying with him. We fell asleep in his bed, nothing weird, but we woke up to yells and his father started calling us names, a big misunderstanding. He punched me but Levi threw him of me. His dad an him had a spat, but his dad was too drunk to even have a winning chance, well as much as a chance you could have when fighting Levi. 

When it was over we went to my house, Mikasa wasn’t there, but Levi suddenly grabbed my face an inspected my wounds. He didn’t mention the misunderstanding, he just hugged me. I saw a tear escape his face. 

“You selfish brat, I love you too.” He didn’t blubber like I did. He laid beside me in my bed and cradled me. He didn’t cry long, I stopped crying too. His soft breaths and mine filled the room. We weren’t good at handling sentiment I guess, our stamina for it really sucked, we both fell asleep.

I realized in my dreams when Levi told me he loved me for the first time. It was him who told me first, we were young and I was crying because I had just come from a world where my mom would smile every day into a world where she no longer existed. He held my hand calmly, maybe Levi isn’t sentimental with words but he is with actions. 

‘Eren,’ he spoke softly trying to console me, ‘you're my princess.’

Levi, I snuggled closer into him. ‘Why is love so complicated?’ I asked myself and smiled. Sleep has never been better. 

Levi smelt wonderfully like home.


End file.
